Sitting on my bed, I thought maybe it would be best if I just ended it all. In that moment, as if struck by a bolt of lightning, I knew I had to do something if I was to survive.
Hi....my name is Elisa.
I had spent three weeks buried under the covers. At 38 years old what little life I had left in me had drained away.
I hid in the shadows; my voice silent; I hid my pain; I hid my shame.
With that edge-of-the-bed recognition, I started to take the same journey as I encourage you to take yourself. I know the power of this transformation. That is why it is my mission, my desire, my life's calling and my privilege to be your catalyst and guide on your transformational journey to un-silence your voice and remove the masks that have kept you hidden - perhaps for most of your life.
This is my story:
I am an island girl at heart. Born in Puerto Rico, I grew up in Jamaica with its lushness, colonial discipline and deep friendships.
My mother passed away when I was only 3 years old, and I was raised by my grandfather and uncle.
I tried hard to feel like I belonged. I even changed my name: Elisa Antonia Negroni became Margaret Betty Martin. I learned to hide the truth - one being that though my father was alive, I didn't live or have contact with him, so I told everyone that he was dead. I didn't want to be pitied.
Even from a young age being seen as the '"strong one," I couldn't speak of my own secret pain of feeling unlovable, unworthy and abandoned. I was afraid to share anything about myself, no matter how insignificant it might be.
I longed to connect with people in meaningful ways. Despite my longing, I shut everyone out. I hid behind the mask of an angry face to prevent anyone from approaching me.
Then in my mid-fifties, two major events happened.
The first was discovering Speaking Circles© which began my journey to finding my voice and stepping out of the shadows.
The second was responding to my son's request to write my life story for him - "the good, the bad, the ugly" - as he put it. He felt it would give him a deeper understanding of where he came from and who he is.
My initial reaction was sheer panic. what would he and others think of me after reading it? Would they judge me? Reject me?
Writing my life story would mean revealing things I had never shared with anyone!
When I finally started writing, words poured onto the pages. Little did I realize what a catalyst this would be. Old wounds began to heal, fear and anger subsided. I found forgiveness for others and myself. I gained a deep understanding of who I was. The layers of protection I had built up over the years melted away; I owned and embraced all of who I am and came out of hiding.
I discovered an inner spirit of courage and strength.
This newfound strength has nothing to do with pretending to be self-sufficient or self-reliant. Rather, it is a daily moment-by-moment choice to be real and kind with myself as much as with others.
I stepped into a new relationship with myself and my life; I became my own absolute best friend. I was able to to connect with others in meaningful ways. In all that I found freedom and a sense of inner peace
You, are you ready to step into a new loving relationship with yourself and your life? Be your own best friend? Open to the endless possibilities that await you? Find a deep sense of freedom and inner peace?
Then I invite you to schedule a complimentary 30-minute session with me. We can dive into your personal concerns and look at where you may be sabotaging yourself. Then we can create a customized plan and talk about what it could feel like to be supported through this process.
When you're ready, perhaps right now, I'm here for you , to walk the journey with you into a new way of being and living. To find freedom and inner peace.
To schedule your complimentary session click below.
Elisa Negroni has been Certified by Radiant Coaches Academy and Speaking Circles® International, has trained in the Peace Circle Process, and holds a degree in Social Services. She is also a speaker and writer.
With over 30 years experience in community relations, personal development training, relationship and transformational coaching. Elisa's personal history makes her particularly compassionate and uniquely qualified to help her clients. She guides them to release the old stories that keep them stuck, remove the masks that keep them hidden, empowering them to trust and share the deeper truth of who they are.